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Topic

Those who are caring for a parent.

Other
#1
  • G
  • mail
  • 2023/01/28 02:48

Please let me know your opinion.
I lived in the U.S. for 10 years, but my mother asked me to come back to Japan because she was worried about being alone in her old age.
I was single in the U.S. but worked hard.

I was taking care of my mother while working full time back in Japan, but my health started to deteriorate and I realized that I could not continue to work
at the same time, so I quit the company. I was working happily in my new position and was receiving a monthly salary of 250,000 take-home pay.

I looked for a part time job this time, but it is only 100,000 a month since I work 3 times a week.
I am not married so I have to take care of myself in the future and when I was getting 250,000 I was saving 100,000
a month.

I am quitting my job to take care of my parents, so I would like to receive the amount I would receive if I worked 250,000 - 100,000 a month ＝ 150,000 a month from my mother for expenses
but she does not understand. Why do I have to pay
when I don't pay rent and I even pay for her meals ？
? She doesn't think about my life after my mother dies. What will she want me to do
when I'm 60 years old, taking care of her in her current condition?

My mother received an inheritance from my father and has money to spare. But she doesn't want to go into a nursing home.
Is my claim strange ？?

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#52
  • 子供
  • 2023/06/11 (Sun) 17:45
  • Report

If you take care of Tobi, your mother will have to leave you enough assets to get you on welfare.

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#53
  • 自己判断
  • 2023/06/11 (Sun) 18:21
  • Report

yokko
is just giving advice based on her own experience and thoughts. Everyone is different.
the way of family, finances, values
what you do for free is a kindness repayment that children do to their parents.
Regardless of whether you get paid or not, but as a practical matter, if taking care of your parents makes your own future life difficult, it would be impossible.

It's not about getting or paying because of this situation.

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#55
  • Darksouls
  • 2023/06/13 (Tue) 13:18
  • Report

I'm sure there are many cases of suicide due to caregiver exhaustion. "I'm here because I'm looking for some good advice from someone " who is taking care of my parents, but sometimes I get annoyed by useless people who are not involved in my parents' care at all.
My parents are also elderly, and moreover, my father recently found out that he has terminal cancer and temporarily returned home, leaving my mother alone after applying for long-term care insurance while my father was in the hospital. My father has moved to home care
and is still doing well, but I am worried about him and plan to return to Japan temporarily in November to help with his care. So, I am not yet a caregiver, but I will be in the future. Please reply to me as I am very curious to know how you are doing at the moment.

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#57
  • ルーシールーシー
  • 2023/06/17 (Sat) 03:45
  • Report

I know I'm late to the party, but I think Topy's point is obvious.
However, I think it is difficult to get your mother's consent.

I am in the same situation as you, my mother lives alone in Japan and has been occasionally taken care of by a nearby relative （ my cousin ）, but due to the progress of her dementia, she started having auditory hallucinations and my relative encouraged her to move in with him, retire from her job and move in with her family. I retired from my job, left my family in the U.S., and started living with my mother by myself. My mother not only does not want to move into a facility for the elderly, she also does not want to go to day care, and recently she does not want to go to the hospital and is a stay-at-home mom. I am in a financially sound situation, but my mother's dementia is gradually progressing, so the emotional burden of living with her is very heavy.
We have been living together for a little over five years, and I am considering separating from my mother in another five years, whether she moves into a facility or not. I think it would be good for you to think about your own life first and then do what you can for your mother.

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#58
  • happy_LA
  • 2023/06/21 (Wed) 20:15
  • Report

Thank you very much for your time. It seems that you have everything you need to live while your mother is alive, but if she should die, her assets will be inherited by her daughter, and with her pension, will it be difficult for her to live on her own?

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

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