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苦手な人を克服したい
- #1
-
- 優々
- 2004/06/21 01:05
ここの掲示板を読んでいて感じたことなんですが、
日本で生まれたけど幼少の頃にアメリカや日本以外の国で生活した方々や、アメリカンスクール出身の人達の意見が(100%では無いですが)どうしても受け入れづらい事が多々あります。
なんか高圧的で、自分以外の意見や自分と大きく違う立場の人を、言い方が悪ですが、見下した、否定的な印象を受けてしまい、共感したり出来なく、なじめません。
それはきっと日本で日本の教育を受けて来た私とは大きく環境が違うのだから、当然と言えば当然ですし、私もせっかくこういう場で、日本以外で生活したり、様々な環境で育った方々の意見を聞いて自分を大きくしていけたら良いと思っているのに、自分の視野の狭さか、心の貧しさか、なじめません。 アメリカで生活している皆さんはすんなりとなじめましたか? なじめなかった場合どういうきっかけで、高圧的な意見と受けるのでは無く、違った受け取り方が出来るようになりましたか?
- #2
-
- サンタ
- 2004/06/21 (Mon) 12:57
- Report
ちょっと具体的な例がないと「高圧的で、自分以外の意見や自分と大きく違う立場の人を、言い方が悪ですが、見下した、否定的な印象を受けてしまい」っていうのがいまいち理解できません。
たとえばこちらで特に白人の女性(中でも大学院の知的な方)の知り合いと話すとき、かならずといっていいほど譲り合うことなくぶつかります。もちろん自分の意見を正しいと思っているからだろうけど、いつも言い切って興奮しています。普段は普通に話してるから関係も保っているけれど、彼女の得意分野では激しく争いますね(笑)。負けたくないってのも手伝って、認めれない、他の意見も受け入れられないのではないのかな。こういう意見なら他にもいくつか友人から聞いたことあります。
自分の場合は議論になったとき、議論しっぱなしです。他の話題になれば収まってるし・・。自分も変なプライドが強く譲らないので、お互いにある題目に関してはぴりぴりしますよ。それが刺激でよかったりもしますが(笑)
- #3
-
- dreamer
- 2004/06/21 (Mon) 18:24
- Report
I really understand what #1 post says. You might dislike me too, then. Smiles. I lived in Japan for 26 yrs, and another 11 yrs in America.
Americans are very good at communicating, arguing, and showing off self-image, I believe. They are taught in school, and culture. Otherwise, people can’t succeed in school or business. There are lots of discussion class, writing very long essays at school, and many lawyers are suing everybody, all kings of Court TVs to decide which side is good or bad everyday. People from all over the world are coming to America. We often can’t understand each other, not because of language, but because of cultural differences. So, we need to communicate more than Japanese people do to make ourselves understood in American society. Americans are taught in that way.
On the other hand, Japanese are taught in society that “ Talk is cheap.” Paper exams decide everything
from university, company, and promotion in your future. Even if father goes back to his house after work, no conversation is exchanged in family during dinner time, right? Japanese people are taught in that way so that you feel so annoying if some American people are very assertive and argumentative on many things.
To make matters worse, Internet message board is often used by notorious argumentators, which try to brag themselves about how smooth their writings are. Smiles.
So, best thing is to ignore those people, and read books instead of coming to this message board. Take care. Smiles.
- #5
-
びびなびにも高圧的で、立場の違う人を見下してる人は大勢います。いろいろな書き込みを見てればわかると思います。僕もそんな人たちには共感できません。
- #4
-
えっと、
予想ですが、自分を強くもっていないと
周りに負けてしまうって言う自然な意識から
そういう感じになるんじゃないかな。
常に防御体勢と言うか。
幼少のころに、自分だけアジア人と言う環境や、転校だとか、そういう環境で過ごしてくるのと、生まれた場所で育ってくる子では違うでしょう。
- #6
-
皆さんお返事ありがとうございます。
そうですね。
自分の方向性がハッキリしていなく、だから色々な環境かで育ったり生活したりしている人の話を聞いて大きくなりたいと思っている反面、強い意見に拒絶反応を起こしているんですよね。
ここの掲示板でまずは、多くの意見を客観的に受け止め、自分なりに受け入れられる様に訓練!?出来れば良いです。
そして、自分の意志で共感したり反対意見を言ったり、切磋琢磨したい。
同じ日本人でもアメリカ育ちの人は自分を全面に出すことを厭わずすごいですよね。 私もなれるかしら?
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