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No matter how long it takes...

Problem / Need advice
#1
  • みさき
  • mail
  • 2022/12/07 18:45

I wonder if anyone else has the same problem... I thought I would start a topic.

I have been coming to the US for about 20 years.
I did not come here because I wanted to, but because of my partner's situation.
Everyone has different reasons for coming to the U.S., and they may have different reasons, such as study, work, pursuing a dream, etc.
I think it is more like a dream. I didn't come to the U.S. with a positive attitude, and I still suffer from stress and anxiety and think about Japan.
Since I have spent every day in such a negative way, my English has not improved because I keep running away from it, and I continue to have a strange feeling of discomfort, as if I have missed the opportunity to get used to a very normal daily life.

Is there anyone else in my situation?

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#2
  • SATO
  • 2022/12/07 (Wed) 19:13
  • Report

How old are you now?

I came here because I wanted to, I like English and I work for an American company, but I still can't understand some unexpected conversations 😅

If I were in Japan, I would have no problem communicating. I think I'm still far from being a native speaker.

Do you plan to go back when you get old ？?

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#3
  • うーん。
  • 2022/12/07 (Wed) 19:25
  • Report

I think there are a lot of people like Topy.
If you are too serious, you may not be able to accept many things, and America may be tough. People who are a little too serious may have a hard time in America, because they cannot accept many things.

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#4
  • あるある
  • 2022/12/07 (Wed) 19:48
  • Report

It is easy to live in Japan because we are proper people.
Japan is a society where relationships are tenacious and the nail that sticks out gets hammered down, so it is a very cramped society.

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#5
  • ピッコロ
  • 2022/12/07 (Wed) 19:58
  • Report

What kind of nerve to ask about age right off the top of your head.

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#6
  • は？
  • 2022/12/07 (Wed) 20:04
  • Report

5
Not really, is it?

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#8
  • みさき
  • 2022/12/08 (Thu) 00:06
  • Report

I am in my 40s and have decided that my retirement will definitely be in Japan.
I feel that it is easier to live here, where relationships are not as intense as in Japan, and people do not interfere with each other. However, even after weighing the good and bad aspects, I still think Japan when I consider the environmental stress.

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#9
  • まさかの
  • 2022/12/08 (Thu) 00:35
  • Report

I vote that it is odd to ask for age at the first word.

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#10

There are people who come to LA because they want to live there, or because they want to get married and have children.
New York is full of people who have a dream and a purpose.
It's too much of a mystery why people come here to have children and be a housewife after winning a green card. Why don't they just stay in Japan? ？ I don't understand why they come to the US.　Well, there are a lot of people like that who are strange and have their own habits, so I guess they don't feel comfortable in Japan
I am a green card holder!
But even if you have a green card, you can only waitress at a Japanese restaurant.

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#14
  • 煮物
  • 2022/12/08 (Thu) 07:51
  • Report

I think it would be harder on the wife who didn't want to come but followed along with her husband.
It is the poor wife who lives in a place she doesn't like for a long time.

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#19
  • 昭和のおとっつぁん
  • 2022/12/08 (Thu) 11:28
  • Report

I am here on the occasion of my marriage due to the circumstances of my partner. What kind of partner's circumstances? How can you simply get married and go to a foreign country that you don't want to live in, just to suit your partner's circumstances?

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#21
  • 気にしない気にしない
  • 2022/12/08 (Thu) 12:58
  • Report

What a couple, there's a lot going on. I don't think it's about playing the victim or divorcing. I feel sorry for people who change their IDs and write for the purpose of melancholy. The more desperate people are for a living, the more they drive others into corners without compassion, so you shouldn't worry about them too much. It is not so unusual for people who have been here a long time and are still getting used to life.
This is especially true if you are immersed in the Japanese American community.
My acquaintance laughs it off, saying, "I still hate English ～.

How about getting physical or finding a hobby?
It's good for your body and good for your mental health.

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#22
  • 昭和の母
  • 2022/12/08 (Thu) 14:40
  • Report

> Those of you who have been here a long time and are still adjusting to life, it's not so uncommon.

If it's not so uncommon, then it seems like you should have such a post. how about you, 21 ？?

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#24
  • アメリカ生活30年
  • mail
  • 2022/12/08 (Thu) 16:19
  • Report

It's not uncommon. I think so myself.
I see a lot of people with Japanese people, but I wonder if they are used to America ？

Maybe everyone has their own problems, and there is no need to deny their problems ？
I am not used to it. I'm not used to it, and I don't like Japanese people's way of thinking and customs, so to speak..."
Well, I came here with a lot of preparation, and I don't regret living here. If you regret too much, I recommend you to change something.

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#25
  • 気にしない気にしない
  • 2022/12/08 (Thu) 17:52
  • Report

Showa mother

I think there are many people who don't want to respond even if they are in a similar situation because of all the aggravating responses. Because there seem to be a lot of people who want to further hurt those who are vulnerable. I don't think I need to tell you anything about me in particular, but I am able to live a normal life.
So how about you, Showa Mom ？?

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#26
  • まぁこ
  • 2022/12/08 (Thu) 18:09
  • Report

I don't like it here either.
I don't like English, and if you can live in an environment where you can live in Japanese, why not take advantage of that?
You should be excited to go back to Japan in your old age ！

#10 is a typical loser, LA is NY only ～ and waitresses for Japanese food ～, lol. The jealousy from the comments is overflowing and scary>_<

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#29
  • 昭和の母
  • 2022/12/09 (Fri) 05:28
  • Report

I have no difficulty living in the U.S. and I have citizenship. You say you are agitated, but I too think it would be a shame to live a life of negativity every day for decades and look forward to returning to Japan in old age.

I hope Topi can find someone in a similar situation to help her improve her self-esteem.

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#30
  • 昭和のおとっつぁん
  • 2022/12/09 (Fri) 06:54
  • Report

Marital problems need to be discussed and resolved between the two of you.

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#31
  • UCLA
  • 2022/12/09 (Fri) 07:33
  • Report

Some people make fun of waitresses, but I think it's a good experience for English ・ beginners in America.
I worked part-time when I was a student and it was fun to earn some extra money and practice my English.
I'm not sure about your current situation, but I think it would be a nice change of pace if you are home a lot.

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#32

You should go home now, not in your old age
why old age ？ enjoy the present while you are young instead of old age
you are a strange man

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#33
  • 紅夜叉
  • 2022/12/09 (Fri) 10:34
  • Report

If a couple discusses their problems with each other and solves their problems together.

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#34
  • まぁこ
  • 2022/12/09 (Fri) 11:09
  • Report

This isn't a topic about marital problems, is it? Various people are just taking it in that direction on their own. I think it's a little off.

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#37
  • なんなん
  • 2022/12/09 (Fri) 14:29
  • Report

The female brain needs empathy more than anything else. They don't expect you to solve their problems like the male brain does.

That's right, Topix.

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#38
  • みさき
  • 2022/12/09 (Fri) 14:30
  • Report

My posts have not been uploaded.
My apologies to those who responded.

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#39
  • 気にする
  • 2022/12/09 (Fri) 17:03
  • Report

There are a lot of things that a married couple can do.
They play the victim, tell you to get a divorce,
meddle in their problems, and give you all kinds of advice.
And then, when you get back together, they will make you look bad when you give them advice, like that person said that. You can do whatever you want with your life.

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#41
  • 比較的
  • 2022/12/10 (Sat) 13:59
  • Report

It's probably because people who are full-time housewives and have a lot of free time complain a lot, and have a lot of time to think about things. It's also the same with getting together in the neighborhood and gossiping about people. There are a lot of those in Japan too.
If you can't afford to have a hobby, work and be independent, and use the money for your hobby. It doesn't matter if you are in the Japanese-American society or the American society. Do something you love to do that you can devote yourself to ！.

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#42
  • 出来ちゃった
  • 2022/12/10 (Sat) 14:19
  • Report

I married a U.S. military man who came to Japan, and when my husband moved, I had no choice but to move to Guam, Hawaii, and San Diego
That's the pattern, isn't it?

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#43
  • もち
  • 2022/12/10 (Sat) 19:33
  • Report

Topix
You must be very serious
Most Japanese people
speak English in a very basic way.
The server of a Japanese restaurant
or
the person you are talking to is an American, etc.
Well, it is very common for people to be able to communicate ？
so
it might be
good to get out a bit for a change.

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#44
  • また心不全
  • 2022/12/10 (Sat) 19:35
  • Report

Marrying an American military man is a quick way to get married, they're often there, but they're almost never divorced first ？.

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#45
  • UZA
  • 2022/12/10 (Sat) 19:51
  • Report

In the past, it was said that those who married U.S. servicemen were war brides.

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#47
  • GC自慢って🤣
  • 2022/12/10 (Sat) 21:47
  • Report

I wonder if the person in 10 has some kind of complex ？ He is a moguri ？ Someone is bragging about GC ？ I don't think it is anything to brag about ？
There are still people who are beating 41 housewives. I think it's not only housewives who have time on their hands. I think you're not here because you're bored ？ lol

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#52
  • 昭和のおとっつぁん
  • 2022/12/13 (Tue) 11:43
  • Report

＃ It's katakoto and appropriate.

If you live in a place where there are no Japanese, you have to go to local stores where Japanese is not spoken
You have to speak even bad English to live.

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#55
  • 受け取る側のコンプレックス
  • 2022/12/14 (Wed) 08:36
  • Report

47

You sound proud because you don't have a green card ？
You sound proud because you don't have money ？
You feel proud because you don't speak English ？

People with a strong need for approval will compete on their own ？
You don't have to compare every single thing ？
Everyone has their own good qualities.

I don't get involved with losers who have a strong need for approval because it's too much trouble

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#56
  • #55
  • 2022/12/14 (Wed) 22:16
  • Report

Well said ！ Exactly.
I think he was snickering because he didn't say anything.

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#57

On Facebook, there was a guy who got a green card after getting married who took a picture of his green card and bragged about it
If you got a green card because of your skills, you can brag about it, but only people who got married or won a lottery brag about it
For people who are not interested in green cards, it's nothing to be jealous of. ？ I don't think people who think they are jealous are jealous because they want a green card ？.

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#59
  • コバ
  • 2022/12/15 (Thu) 22:45
  • Report

I have a GC, but I am not proud of it at all.
If you don't have GC, you can go somewhere else, and I don't see the point of messing around with it at all.
I feel sorry for 55 and 56.

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#60
  • 昭和のおとっつぁん,
  • 2022/12/16 (Fri) 07:02
  • Report

I prefer to be in a position to become an American citizen and vote in American politics.

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