Vivinavi : Los Angeles : (United States) Los Angeles

• 昭和のおとっつぁん
• 2022/05/01 (Sun) 12:16
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If you can pay for the necessities of life, then there is no problem. What kind of common property are you talking about?

• 令和のおかん
• 2022/05/01 (Sun) 12:20
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At this stage, it's hard to say.　It seems to me that the problem lies in the fact that we are not able to have a conversation despite our discontent.

• 無知
• 2022/05/01 (Sun) 13:38
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I can understand if they don't pay for your living expenses, but....
Many husbands are like that in the U.S. It's a custom, so you have to follow it
They ask for your credit card statements ？ Of course they do, don't you check what you spent on your own card ？ What a monkey!
I think he's going to ask for a divorce

• 働かないの？
• 2022/05/01 (Sun) 17:38
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I think you have to work for yourself.
I worked and saved before I had the baby.
save enough to stay home until they are 3 years old without having to work.

Once they are 3 1/2 and going to preschool, I work part time just while they are in preschool
and full time from the time they are in elementary school.
All to have free money for myself.

The couple's income is shared property, but I manage it.
First, we put aside our living expenses and the amount of savings we are aiming for, and then
other than that, we buy each other things if we need them. Unless it is very expensive,
we don't have to ask for the other person's approval. If the amount is left over, it will be saved as well.

There's nothing more constricting than not having freedom of money.
But if I'm not working myself, I guess I have to put up with it even if it's tight ～ ～ ～.

I don't know if it's DV or not, but if it's serious, ask a lawyer ？
there are lots of places that offer free initial consultations.

• 香奈子
• 2022/05/01 (Sun) 23:05
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Topi
Does your husband wish to be a housewife ？?

• Yumi
• 2022/05/02 (Mon) 01:41
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#Kanako
No, we both want to work together.
However, I was on an H4 visa for many years, so I couldn't work properly, and when I finally got my work visa, I started to raise my children. …
If we were in the US, we would have no problems, but if we can't manage our accounts together, it will be a problem when we return to Japan.

When you are back home temporarily, your money will fly away. But I can't pay cash (I was told not to use credit cards because of the interest rate), so I end up eating up all the money I had before I got married.
The last time I had to be hospitalized while back home, I had to rebuild the medical bills myself. When I asked her if she wanted to manage money with me, she said, "I don't trust you. My parents say that's fine too" repeatedly.
I wanted to work too, but I had no choice because I didn't have a visa.
But I still followed them because we were married. The longer I stay married, the poorer I become.
I have to be careful what I buy and it is not fun.
I can say that from now on I will be able to work so these problems will disappear, but even though we have yelled at each other and had big fights, I have no financial freedom and I seriously wonder … if it is okay to continue to live under one roof. Neither my husband nor I waste money. It's the way you say it.

• 昭和のおとっつぁん
• 2022/05/02 (Mon) 08:35
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What do you want to do in the end?

Do you just post your complaints and whines here?

• 自利利他
• 2022/05/02 (Mon) 09:10
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I need a stranger to tell me to leave him as soon as possible ？.

• 浪費
• 2022/05/02 (Mon) 10:32
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＞ When I told him I wanted to manage money with him, he said, "I don't trust him. My parents say that's fine too."

I don't trust him. I know you're right.
If it's the cost of going back to Japan to play, I have to ask my parents to pay for it instead of relying on my husband.

• 令和のおかん
• 2022/05/02 (Mon) 11:15
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If you go back home with your family, the entire amount will come out of the family budget ？ It is a difficult time to raise children, so if you get along with your husband as well as possible and have him treat your children, I think you will be on your way to a solution.

• raila
• 2022/05/02 (Mon) 12:28
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I understand your feelings because when I first got married and didn't have a work permit, I felt uncomfortable living solely on my husband's money.
In the end, I wanted to spend the money as I wanted and also to study English, so I worked under the table.

Now that I have a green card and can earn quite a bit of money, I can spend as much money as I want without having to worry about my husband. I still think it would be a good idea for the topier to increase their income so that they don't complain.

• Reina
• 2022/05/02 (Mon) 12:29
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If you both want to work together, why not leave the children in preschool and both work?
If your husband is against that, you can ask him to let you spend more money freely and to give you an allowance of a certain amount.
If that wish is not met, then why don't you just work instead of listening to your husband?
If he himself wants to raise his children without working or at least not send them to preschool while they are young, then he is choosing not to work, which means he is not earning an income for himself.
If the work is negative or not worth it after deducting the cost of preschool, then that is also a problem for Topy.
(If Topi can earn an income, we are talking about a 50-50 split of everything, including the preschool fees, house mortgage, and other living expenses. )
If you are living on your husband's income alone and he is able to provide you with the money you need to live, be grateful for that situation, but try to negotiate wisely.

By the way, one question: how much money per month does Topi want to spend freely?

• 香奈子
• 2022/05/02 (Mon) 13:56
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I am sorry for your feelings.

First of all, if you tell him how you feel and your husband doesn't change, why don't you leave your children with him and start working ？ In the end, I think you should either work and raise your children or put up with your husband's sarcasm. Nowadays, you don't have to go to work to earn an income, so you can change as much as you want through your own efforts. If you can live without having to depend on your husband, rather than taking out your ideals and frustrations on him, you will be free from his control. Your husband is probably acting that way because he looks down on you, who, after all, doesn't make much money. He asks you to do half of the child-rearing and works half of the time himself. I think raising children is harder for men than working, but if you don't create that situation, he won't understand. Let them know how hard it is to raise children.

• Yumi
• 2022/05/09 (Mon) 22:16
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Thank you for all your input. Of course, I plan to work, so I'm not worried about my future. I asked the question because I wondered if I should be allowed to manage the account alone because I "don't trust you".
If I get a green card, yes, I will have to work on my own, but wouldn't it be stifling if you did that at a time when I can only do housework on a spouse visa and only make money by under the table otherwise ？.

• せいた
• 2022/05/10 (Tue) 01:22
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I asked the question because I wondered if it was OK to manage the account alone because "I don't trust you".
As #11 said, if the other party doesn't trust you, it makes sense that they would want to manage the account alone.

> Wouldn't it be stifling if they did that during a time when you can only do housework on a spouse visa and only earn money from other under-tables ？
Did you return home temporarily during a time when you could only do housework(主は稼ぎがない)?
Even though he was earning money under-the-table, was the account managed by the husband alone? If the former, then the account was managed by the husband alone, even though he was earning money at the under-table.
If the former, I would not be able to say that he was suffocating because he was not able to earn money himself but had to return to Japan.
If the latter, I am sorry for your feelings. In any case, if you are in a status where you can work now, just work and earn. After all, you are bringing up the past.
At that point, I think there is already dissatisfaction and problems between you and your wife before the management of the account.

• Yumi
• 2022/05/10 (Tue) 08:46
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All of my earnings were spent on leisure for the couple. Of course it was not such a large amount, so it was my way of thanking my husband for working for me. I am not asking if I am an untrustworthy person, but if I am untrustworthy, can I not touch the common part of our marriage?

Can't I ask questions if it's in the past ？

Yes, I'm asking because I'm unhappy with our marriage.

I "only" ？ do housework ？ what do you consider housework?
Is it wrong for people who don't work to go back home temporarily ？ ？
I think it's a little bit misleading to say that.

• ドンマイ
• 2022/05/10 (Tue) 08:48
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If all you did was housework, what would they do to you ？
Wives who are zoned, please be careful!

• なんかね〜
• 2022/05/10 (Tue) 08:52
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There are people who look down on full-time housewives because they themselves work, but there are also people who do not take it for granted that they have to work because their husbands are transferred. I don't think it is better to work and receive a salary, but I feel that an environment that does not respect mothers raising children is the starting point of Japan's declining birthrate problem.

• 空気
• 2022/05/10 (Tue) 09:00
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I can't back this guy up if I don't know what he's saying
housewives who don't work go home at least once a year as a matter of course
I don't know if it's a bone vacation or what ？ he probably thinks so too why are you going home now?

• は？
• 2022/05/10 (Tue) 09:15
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You wrote yourself that you have to do the housework.

Are you okay? This Topi W.

• 主婦になりたい
• 2022/05/10 (Tue) 10:02
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They also ask every single question about credit card statements.

it's normal to check the statement ？ if you don't like it, use your own credit card ？ you have one made in Japan ？ you can get it from your husband later
now you will get divorced and take his property with you. It's scary, isn't it?

• せいた
• 2022/05/10 (Tue) 11:19
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As for #23? As you said, I quoted the same words because the Lord himself wrote "only housework".
You write "only housework" when it seems to be a positive thing for you, and when others write the same word "only housework", you argue with them.

#20Don't you say, "If all you did was housework, what would you do?" No one wrote that, not even the Lord.
The topic itself is titled "Economic DV?

You have not answered any questions that might be inconvenient.
I still don't understand without hearing your husband's side of the story.

• Yukina
• 2022/05/12 (Thu) 01:33
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I think I know this person doesn't trust her husband. We don't know what her husband has to say, and there is no way for us to hear what he has to say. This person is all about his own arguments.
He refutes or ignores advice or questions that hurt his ears.
And even when he is given the same advice, he continues to make his point. As a woman, I think, if you want to complain about the past, why don't you wait until you are independent? I think.
I myself went through a period of great depression and am still having a hard time, but as someone who is married, has children, and a job, I think it is naive.

• 新時代
• 2022/05/12 (Thu) 09:41
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Couples are getting tired of being dependent on each other

From now on, equal and independent marriages will be the norm

More and more people will realize that there's no point in getting married.

• 最近出会った日本人妻
• 2022/05/12 (Thu) 12:07
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I can't drive, I can't speak English, I can't work.
I live with my husband's family and I feel stuffy, so in the summer, after the kids finish school, I immediately go back to Japan for an extended period of time. Of course, he pays for the trip. What if he gets sick of me?

• Yukina
• 2022/05/13 (Fri) 00:50
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I wonder if he will ever come out again. Since so much has been written about him, I would like to hear if he has had a change of heart or something, though. Or is he not coming out?

• Yumi
• 2022/05/14 (Sat) 17:42
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All I can say is that you seem to have a bad personality.
There is no comment to reply to someone who just wants to slap you.

• Yukina
• 2022/05/14 (Sat) 18:57
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Interesting ！
I understand that I have received a bad character assessment from you.
Well, I get the impression that you have a very bad character too.
I see that you think that different opinion=slap
me.
Well, I'm not going to win, so I'm going to sit tight, and when I see a response that I can argue back with, I'll get on it.
I've been hidden from the front page because the topic has moved on to the next page.
Too bad it was almost forgotten as it was.

I understand that you don't want to comment back to me.
Then how about commenting back to someone other than me or answering my questions?

• 病みすぎてウケた
• 2022/05/14 (Sat) 22:18
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↑ This guy's guts are pretty rotten.
His way of thinking is distorted. Dongma.

• Yukina
• 2022/05/14 (Sat) 22:47
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I really pity this guy, he can't get around in real life or on the internet.
#31 disappeared and #34 came up.
You said it in #33, so you erased it.
This doesn't seem like it would be wise to get along well with those around you, let alone your husband, and I agree with what some of you are saying. But I'm really sorry I didn't say it better.
Thanks, that was pretty interesting ！
natkore ！

• 病みすぎてウケた
• 2022/05/14 (Sat) 23:11
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↑ I didn't delete it
it was deleted

you look stupid and your comments are not funny

I think I am getting around ？ LOL

• Yukina
• 2022/05/14 (Sat) 23:54
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Were you erased?
You didn't say anything bad.
Well, I don't know if it's true, but if you were deleted, I wonder what happened to you, Vivinavi.

Well, I'm not trying to be funny, and I'm not trying to get around.
I don't really feel the need to.

I guess the Lord needs to get around.
It would be a shame, because then she could get out of the economic DV?(according to the Lord) and have a better relationship with her husband.
If you can earn your own money, you can also be in the same position or superior in a good way.
Sometimes people say they can't get divorced because they can't earn their own money and can't speak strongly enough to their husbands.
To avoid that, live wisely while thinking ahead ～ I have to tell myself that ～ too.

• 昭和のおとっつぁん
• 2022/05/15 (Sun) 07:30
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It seems to have become something of a search for the writing partner's alas.

• Yumi
• 2022/05/15 (Sun) 08:07
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#15Reina
Thank you for your comment. I apologize for replying now since you commented so politely. I don't have any particular preference as to how much I can spend per month. Neither my husband nor I are very wasteful spenders. You know, sometimes there are stores that only accept cash. When I told my husband about it, he often just said, "Oh, I see.
That was when I was first married.
He was young and probably didn't know how to deposit money with his wife who had just arrived on a spouse visa.
It's also the world of "HK market ≪$22 for HK market∩ ？ ！ What did you buy?" when they ask you for your credit statement. It's not that I spent it all.
By the way, I was getting $10 a day in cash at that time.
That covered breakfast and dinner for me and my husband, lunch and lunch for me and my husband. He wanted his lunch and evening meal to be separate.
I once went to a supermarket in tears and bought some green onions for cheap, and some chicken for sale by weight at this supermarket. I had just arrived and had no friends, so it was hard.
I just wanted to talk about my resentment at that time.

You are right about the rest ！
Now it would be better if I left her in day care and started working and I would make more money than you.
thank you ！

• Yumi
• 2022/05/15 (Sun) 08:10
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#4 Ignorant
so they didn't pay for my living expenses.
Everything I wrote above is a true story. I'm not the one who is told by the husband to divorce him, but the one we tell him because he was using his wife for convenience.

• Yumi
• 2022/05/15 (Sun) 08:15
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#16Kanako
I appreciate your comment from a very wise and sincere person.
You are right ！ I am not too worried about the future, but I have a hazy feeling … whether we can continue to live together considering all the things in the past. Thank you for your accurate judgment even though I was writing with little information. From now on I will try to think about what is best for me and act accordingly.

• Yumi
• 2022/05/15 (Sun) 08:19
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#Wonder
Isn't it hard that your own husband doesn't trust you ？
Yes. Yes, it is. It's not that I want to spend money freely, but I've always wondered … what it's like when I give him money and he doesn't.
I'm not sure if it's because of his upbringing. Apparently, my husband's upbringing seems to have done that. He is not a bad person.　　　

I too wonder what it would be like to have no choice but to work, as you say. There is nothing you can do about an expat wife who can't work. Thank you for your precise comments even though I have very little information.

• Yumi
• 2022/05/15 (Sun) 08:23
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#5I don't work ？ Mr.
I think it is wonderful that you have planned properly to have your own free money.
Wouldn't it have been hard if you had to spend your money freely otherwise ？
Please understand that my story is about the time when you could not work properly.

• Yumi
• 2022/05/15 (Sun) 08:25
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raila
Thank you for your advice based on your own experience ！
You made quite a bit of money by taking the GC ！ Good for you.
I'll do the same from now on. Thanks for your comment.

• Yumi
• 2022/05/15 (Sun) 08:29
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#something like that - Mr.
You're right. I think that the different working statuses in other countries may have made it like a master-servant relationship with husbands. …
I was feeling uncomfortable about this, but your comment helped to clear it up. I was having an argument with my husband, so I didn't take the time to read your comment, and I apologize for the delay in replying.

• 昭和のおとっつぁん
• 2022/05/15 (Sun) 09:34
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I wonder if your husband has changed a little since you gave him your advice.

• ウケた
• 2022/05/15 (Sun) 11:33
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I'm sorry, but I'm not sure if this is a good idea. ？
#34,36 are also topical ？
He seems to have a back and forth and troublesome way of replying, as if he made it up.
He is a real person, like the part where he calls only ignorant people. LOL!

• 紅夜叉
• 2022/05/15 (Sun) 11:37
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> When I start working, I will earn more than you.

Do you already know what type of work you will be doing?

• 昭和のおとっつぁん
• 2022/05/15 (Sun) 14:33
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By the way, I wonder if your husband has seen some changes.

• 病みすぎてウケた
• 2022/05/15 (Sun) 14:34
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Yukina is a person who is very approval seeking and really doesn't seem to be herself

I'm not the owner of this page

Okay ？ I'm right about you ？
Say something back to me. Say something back. I make a lot of money, so I don't bitch like you.
You should earn money before complaining about your husband.
I'm the one making the money, I'm the good guy. ！
You get it...

You're so annoying with your advice, it's really funny. LOL.

• 不思議
• 2022/05/15 (Sun) 14:44
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↑ not better advice than yours ？

you think I'm annoying because I don't make enough money ？ seriously lol. LOL.

• 病みすぎてウケた
• 2022/05/15 (Sun) 15:10
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You're too attached to it. lol

People who talk high and mighty about how much money they make often don't make much money

You're just trying to take the high ground, not give advice.

• 愛
• 2022/05/15 (Sun) 16:18
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↑ Desperate. LOL

I hope those who haven't really earned it will be able to earn it soon -

Ganba~!

• Yumi
• 2022/05/15 (Sun) 17:01
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#Ototsuan
It's in the past, so I haven't done anything special to my husband(笑)Thank you for your concern ！

#Sick and Uke-san
You are not a topical person ！ (笑)I'm glad you could comment on my comment.

I feel that people who criticize are ultimately lonely people whose lives are unfulfilled.
People who are desperate to live don't feel like commenting first. Above all, I can't afford to look here ….

• 紅夜叉
• 2022/05/15 (Sun) 17:04
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> When I start working, I will earn more than you.

Do you already know what type of work you will be doing?

• 病みすぎてウケた
• 2022/05/15 (Sun) 17:07
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54

losers say

you're desperate

I'm not desperate at all ？ laughing

the truth is my husband doesn't make enough money so I have to work ？

I'm not going to work

• Que
• 2022/05/15 (Sun) 17:54
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I see a lot of people here say they are desperate for a second word w

even if your husband earns （ maybe not ？ ), some people are not allowed to spend freely. Like Topi.

And you don't reply to Seita-san ？
who is the type to cover up her mistakes ？.

• Yumi
• 2022/05/15 (Sun) 18:16
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It's a professional job, so it's set in stone, and it's not particularly difficult to find a job.

• 紅夜叉
• 2022/05/15 (Sun) 18:35
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Eh ？ you couldn't work on an H4 visa for a long time ？
did you have experience working in the US as a professional ？?

• 虫がわく
• 2022/05/15 (Sun) 19:00
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63
you are an idiot ？
the bugs here are always so desperate to get rid of the nonsense

you can't work in the US because you came here for your husband's convenience ？
I heard that if you have a halfway income, your taxes will be higher, which is a negative.
That's why you can't work ？

You can always get another job in nursing or something.

• 紅夜叉
• 2022/05/15 (Sun) 19:30
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You write that you have left him in day care and will be working from now on ？

Did he return to Japan?

• は？
• 2022/05/15 (Sun) 19:37
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Is Topi an expatriate wife ？
then she probably left her bank or something ？
when she came back to Japan, so there is no need to worry about fees.

• Yumi
• 2022/05/15 (Sun) 20:06
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I am not an expat wife.
There are some expat wives who are capable but not able to work, and I was just wondering what the position of such people would be. Since this is an exchange forum, I don't feel obligated to reply to aggressive people who have no desire to interact. I am replying to those who I feel are sincere in their conversation.

• Yumi
• 2022/05/15 (Sun) 20:08
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If you read carefully, I think I have answered Seita's comment.
There is nothing to misrepresent, and no one here is wrong.

• 気をつけて
• 2022/05/15 (Sun) 20:14
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↑ There are no sane people here, so it may be futile to hope

If I answered properly, I'd be infected too.

• Yumi
• 2022/05/15 (Sun) 21:36
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I think there are about three types of people who post on these forums: those who are really trying to give advice, those who just want to slam you, and others (especially irrelevant comments ？ ？).
I want to reply properly to those who are trying to interact with me, and those who are trying to hit me and don't reply ？ are currently left alone. Even if they say they only reply to comments that are convenient, as Mr. Careful says, it just infects them and takes away their energy, and it doesn't do any good.
So if you are fussing about not getting a reply, that's what I mean.

• 気をつけて
• 2022/05/15 (Sun) 22:51
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I agree

That sex fiend is a waste of time to deal with.

• 紅夜叉
• 2022/05/15 (Sun) 23:09
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64
You're not an expat after all. You're the idiot.

• 昭和のおとっつぁん
• 2022/05/16 (Mon) 07:15
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56 It's in the past, so I haven't done anything special to my husband.．Thank you for your concern ！

We are supposed to have joint marital property, including husband #1's salary, but he won't let me touch our accounts and asks me every single credit card statement.
Is this considered domestic violence? ？
I can give him the money he needs to live, but it means that he cannot manage our common property together.

What was that in the past?

There are a lot of people here who have too much time on their hands and want someone to take care of them. More fun to pass the time.

• 爆
• 2022/05/16 (Mon) 07:47
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↑ That's you, dumbass.

• 呆
• 2022/05/16 (Mon) 08:05
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↑ Good morning, sexist with too much time on his hands.

• 爆
• 2022/05/16 (Mon) 08:19
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You're sticking up too much.

• 昭和のおとっつぁん
• 2022/05/16 (Mon) 08:31
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76 You can't speak for others because you're in the same hole

Some people are so quick to put themselves on the shelf and write

• 呆
• 2022/05/16 (Mon) 08:59
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78
You're the one.

• え？
• 2022/05/16 (Mon) 11:21
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I mean we're jointly managing assets now ？

I mean, when are you going to be set up to work in the US in a professional capacity. LOL!

• Yukina
• 2022/05/16 (Mon) 12:43
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The reason why the Lord started this topic, "Economic DV? Besides, you don't have a job, do you?
I think that's what the Lord says, but if I'm wrong, I want a reply from the Lord himself. If I'm wrong, I'd like a reply from the Lord himself ～, but you don't want to reply to me, do you? \v263> I have comments from both sides of your "sincere comments" and "offensive comments", like if you do your job, but in the end?
If you "were able to solve your economic DV without financial independence," then it would be helpful to someone if you showed them how to do it here.

In response to the question of how much you want per month, the answer is that there is no particular amount.
Because of this kind of feeling, maybe your husband doesn't want to let you manage it?
Lord: he doesn't trust you, he doesn't know how much you want, and he doesn't have a job

Not only is this economic DV? but your relationship with your husband itself doesn't seem to be very good, and as you can see from our previous interactions, it doesn't seem like the problem is just him.

• 沙央
• 2022/05/16 (Mon) 13:33
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> I am raising a child.
They won't let me touch their accounts and question every single credit card statement, even though they are supposed to be joint property of the couple, including my husband's salary.
Does this constitute domestic violence ？

It is written in the present tense, but it is in the past ？.

• Yumi
• 2022/05/16 (Mon) 14:45
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At any rate, I don't have any comments to make to people like Yukina who don't particularly intend to help people, or people like Taka who call people you ^_^
I don't have to worry about my job because I'm not a setting, I'm a super professional ^_^
That's why I'm so bitter about the time I didn't GC. It's just big.

Thank you all for your sincere comments ✿
I appreciate it. It is a relief to know that there are those who understand, even if only a little.

I don't want to write about the past present, because I'm sure there are people who just want to beat me up for being happy to write about it.
I will end my comment here.

• Yumi
• 2022/05/16 (Mon) 14:46
• Report

Ps Yukina, I wish you a happy life.

• W
• 2022/05/16 (Mon) 15:13
• Report

Yukina is a person who gets too involved

I'm not taking it out on you ？
something happened ？ lol

• ストレス溜まり過ぎ
• 2022/05/16 (Mon) 15:32
• Report

> There are some "sincere" and "offensive" comments from both sides of your "sincere" and "offensive" comments, if you do the work, but in the end?
If you "were able to solve your economic DV without financial independence," then it would be helpful to someone if you showed them how to do it here.

Omg
Moral harassment not half bad lol

• Kowai
• mail
• 2022/05/16 (Mon) 16:09
• Report
• Delete

Yukina,
you really are a little scary 🤔
something must have really pissed you off in real life ？
or are you always like this ？
here you are negative, aggressive, and "wow, hey this person" and I can avoid you.
I'm not sure if it's because I'm not a good person or because I'm not a good person. I've met women like this in real life and I'm sure they're nice at first and then you find out
if they hang around with you, they're nice to you too 🙄
I'm sure they get on your nerves ？ I'm exaggerating 🤔
anyway, it was just a vivinavi thing. Good for you Topix ！
you can end up here with no touch.
In the real world, you'd have to be a living spirit, hovering around, saying "you hate me ？ why ？" … 🙄.

• 紅夜叉
• 2022/05/16 (Mon) 20:04
• Report

> It's a professional job, so it's set in stone, and I don't have any particular trouble finding a job.

I guess Japanese professionals have to get a new certification in the U.S. as well.

• 紅夜叉
• 2022/05/16 (Mon) 20:06
• Report

There is a pattern to Topy's defense.
He doesn't seem to realize it.

• 過去の精算
• 2022/05/16 (Mon) 21:04
• Report

America doesn't get in your face about your personal situation. Maybe she wanted someone to listen to her past that no one understood. I hear a lot about the emptiness of being a career woman and then becoming an expatriate wife.

• Yukina
• 2022/05/16 (Mon) 22:10
• Report

I just asked about the discrepancy because it seems that someone besides me thought "?" so I was just asking about the discrepancy.
I'd like to know what part of you is taking it out on me.
And can you tell me if there is or isn't a contradiction in the Lord?
If there are, I hope you can also tell me why this happened.

If you have a solution, why don't you show it? =Moral harassment" Some people take that as a "=moral harassment", right?
If the Lord is the one giving advice, he may be able to help others in the same position.
The Lord is so full of himself, that he would run away without explaining the contradictions he has brought up, so I guess it's impossible. Too bad.

The Lord complains without being independent.
You may say it in different ways, but if you're like that, why don't you earn your own money? Various people have commented on it.
If you earn money and are not allowed to manage your accounts, then either you are not trusted at all, your husband is too strict, or you are not able to roll with him as a spouse.

Either way, I'm going to work from now on (super-professional? It must be a special job that only someone like the Lord can do. More than a doctor, more than a scholar? What? That's great. \That's not much to talk about, is it?
The same level of phrases that people who haven't done it say, "I will ！ I can do it ！ It will work ！".
Sorry, I said too much.

I too thought there was a pattern to the Lord's defensive comments, but I kept quiet.
I knew it, the people who get caught know.
In a way I feel sorry for you. Tears. Ganbare Lord.

• わーお
• 2022/05/16 (Mon) 23:12
• Report

Yukina, in real life, you are divorced and your common-law husband is financially DV'ing you and not harassing you ？ I don't think so........................

• 過去の精算
• 2022/05/16 (Mon) 23:24
• Report

What does Yukina want ？?

• ひとりよがり
• 2022/05/16 (Mon) 23:24
• Report

↑ I thought the same thing
I've been harassed so I become the harasser
I bet she's the type of person who doesn't ask her friends for advice lol

Kucha Kucha Kucha

She's so stressed out
Oh my god

• ひとりよがり
• 2022/05/16 (Mon) 23:25
• Report

No, no, Yukina's the problem child ？ lol

• 品がない
• 2022/05/16 (Mon) 23:36
• Report

> You are not rolling them well as a spouse.

A spouse is not something you can roll over
Demon wife, still a morally harassing type.

• 品がない
• 2022/05/16 (Mon) 23:38
• Report

> In a way, I feel sorry for him. Tears. Ganbare Lord.

You are more pitiful
and more painful w

• 本名は…君の名は
• 2022/05/16 (Mon) 23:40
• Report

I know someone named Yukina who writes just like her, but is her real name Yu--o? ？ She says she is married with a child and working, but isn't she a housewife ？ Her black-heartedness is just like her, and it scares me ….
I think she is a black-hearted woman who may have a good relationship with her husband, but in the past she was forced to resign from her job because she couldn't get along with her company.

Also, the opinion that "if you work ？" is also legitimate, but can't you do something about the housewives who are looking down on you … If you think about the child-rearing and time to interact with your children that you won't have by working, there are people who are not working right now but are working and raising their children. There are too many people who think they are better than me, and I hate the idea of being a housewife. We have our own ideas and we don't work …

• 過去の精算
• 2022/05/16 (Mon) 23:50
• Report

Kind comments … Parenting is a wonderful time, isn't it?

• 張り付きBBAの正体
• 2022/05/17 (Tue) 01:47
• Report

Yukina is very good at searing the true nature of the topix lol. Yeah, the defense is one-note. You're too dark, poor housewife.

• ゆみお
• 2022/05/17 (Tue) 02:53
• Report

#112 is not Yukina either ？.

• マジ
• 2022/05/17 (Tue) 07:00
• Report

Yukina scary

too much stress

• マジ
• 2022/05/17 (Tue) 07:10
• Report

But

111 defends himself ？ lol

women distorting each other is ugly

• あらま
• 2022/05/17 (Tue) 07:35
• Report

I take it as a supercilious thing to tell me to work.
I took it that everyone was giving advice to improve the situation of the Lord, who cannot spend money freely.

I don't know how old you are now, but why don't you work when your children don't need it?
If your relationship with your husband is not improving.

Also, I know that in many cases you have to re-qualify for a job in the U.S., but of course you can do that ？, right?

• あらま
• 2022/05/17 (Tue) 07:39
• Report

I mean, 110 is also topical.
And a few minutes later, a comment of his own.

In summary, defend the husband is wrong! I don't need advice to work! I guess that's what I'm saying.

You started a topic, but you don't seem to need other people's opinions.

• 落ち着いて
• 2022/05/17 (Tue) 07:46
• Report

Whether you are a housewife, a dual income housewife, single or divorced
If you don't respect your partner, you will eventually become one

If you criticize, you will be criticized

These people want to make things black and white like one is right and they are subjective.

you have to leave

• バーイ〜
• 2022/05/17 (Tue) 08:02
• Report

＞ It's a real waste of time to spend time on people like this who want to make things black and white like one is right or the other and can only think subjectively

If you think it's a waste, just go away on your own.

• 本名は…君の名は
• 2022/05/17 (Tue) 08:25
• Report

110 is me. I'm not a topical person.

I think saying ？ if you work is almost always over the top. It's just annoying to say that to someone who isn't working because they don't want to work.

I don't know about your place, but I think it's short-sighted to say that if you work, everything will be fine. ？ I overlap with the type of people who work with small children and complain when they leave early because their child is sick. If you choose not to work because you don't want to be bothered with that kind of thing, there are many people who think they are better than you because they work, raise children, and are housewives. Of course, not all of them are like that, but if they do something that requires a lot of work, they just say "I don't have time for that because I have to work" and they are not popular ？.

• ゆみお
• 2022/05/17 (Tue) 08:52
• Report

This is certainly true.
In the end, some people just want to complain no matter what you do

I don't want to be someone like Yukina who thinks it's okay to say anything if you are working.
Oh, so you are a housewife now ？?

• ん?
• 2022/05/17 (Tue) 09:11
• Report

＞ I think it's almost always supercilious to say ？ if you work. It's just annoying to say that to someone who isn't working because they don't want to work.

You got this kind of advice because your post sounded like Topix was in financial trouble, right?
What, are we talking about you?

• 働く女
• 2022/05/17 (Tue) 10:40
• Report

We were almost 50/50 until we had kids
so neither of us complained about how we spent our money

But after we had kids, we decided to split the housework and childcare 50/50
He said he would rather work and pay for it, and I started doing all the housework and childcare
.

so I am almost free to do what I earn while taking care of the kids and housework

it's great

by all means!

• 沙良
• 2022/05/17 (Tue) 10:50
• Report

＞ I don't know about Topi's place, but I think it's short-sighted to say that if you work, it's like everything is solved ？

I don't think anyone wrote this with the intention of solving everything.

So, what would you suggest as advice to the topixer?

• 働く女
• 2022/05/17 (Tue) 11:47
• Report

？

I find it much easier to work.

However, I think women are more likely to enjoy raising children.
I guess it's called motherhood.

I hear that husbands are very difficult, but I think you have to try to make them understand. If he only tells you, you can listen to him, but if he doesn't let you use it, that might be economic DV, so I'll leave evidence, in case you want to divorce him. If he can't follow the rules, even as a married couple, then we should attack him legally ！.

• あらら？
• 2022/05/17 (Tue) 11:58
• Report

？
I didn't know you.

Such a big, ugly, and ugly

• アドバイスありがとう
• 2022/05/17 (Tue) 12:02
• Report

Did the board owner ask for advice ？?

• 話はズレますが
• 2022/05/17 (Tue) 12:21
• Report

I had a coworker who couldn't have a child right away even though she was trying to conceive (she said she wasn't having fertility treatment), and when another coworker in the same department got pregnant with her second child, she said she wished she had a miscarriage, which surprised me a lot and at the same time made me feel a dark side. The first son of the person who reported the pregnancy went to day care, but he often had a cold and had to leave early or take time off, so I felt very scared, even though it might have been bothering him. I was afraid that she might have been bothered by it, but I was also afraid that she might have been infertile. I know this is off topic, but it made me remember.

• 暇人の釣りトピ
• 2022/05/17 (Tue) 12:39
• Report

#127
You don't seem to be asking for it. He seems to be taking the advice as a mount.　I don't understand the point of making a topic if he doesn't want to be in trouble in the future, but I guess he wanted to get her to criticize him and feel sorry for him ？.

• うーん
• 2022/05/17 (Tue) 13:01
• Report

I'm talking about a time when you couldn't work, and all you get are housewifey comments about working. You write that you couldn't. Complaining about doing it under.
You say you're going to work, but you're prying to see if you can find a job.

There are choices like #123 working woman. I see.

It's not short-sighted to write as if working will solve everything ？ including the comment #120 is accurate.

What does Sara want ？?

• 不自然な擁護
• 2022/05/17 (Tue) 13:12
• Report

130
You said it was in the past, that's an afterthought, right? I think you're confused because of the way you wrote Topi.

120
is just a topix, 130 too. I know you're there
, it's like you don't want to work forever, using your kids as a pretext.

• ん？
• 2022/05/17 (Tue) 13:14
• Report

128

I know people who say things like that ？
I don't think it's a bumblebee that you couldn't get pregnant
I think you're pretty bad for making a statement like that

That's dark.

• Komuro
• 2022/05/17 (Tue) 13:17
• Report

Can I shove this into the super-professional category?

• いるいる
• 2022/05/17 (Tue) 16:39
• Report

One person who had undergone fertility treatment said, "I wish I had a miscarriage," although she did not say so herself. She said it was unfair that someone could get pregnant so easily while she was suffering. I wondered if someone else would feel the same way when I got pregnant ？. Darkness. I thought she was a horrible child, so I estranged myself from her.

• ゆっきーの
• 2022/05/17 (Tue) 20:49
• Report

What? ？ It was deleted. I knew it, that Yukina was someone's acquaintance. ？ That's funny!

• え？図星？
• 2022/05/17 (Tue) 22:31
• Report

Uke 🤣

Oni yukina, don't be shy!

• うーん
• 2022/05/17 (Tue) 22:32
• Report

#129

I agree.

• 過去の精算
• 2022/05/17 (Tue) 22:47
• Report

I wonder if Topi will ever come up again ？.

• Lol
• 2022/05/18 (Wed) 04:14
• Report

There's no way you can come out.
Because he is needlessly proud and cowardly.

• ん？
• 2022/05/18 (Wed) 07:32
• Report

Lol

Don't change your name, Yukina ！

• Lol
• 2022/05/18 (Wed) 09:38
• Report

150
I'm not Yukina, AHO.

• 過去の精算
• 2022/05/18 (Wed) 13:42
• Report

Lol

not Yukina, it's Yukina

• 一生を棒にふったな。。
• 2022/05/18 (Wed) 21:28
• Report

It seems you really knew each other

Kuchibaraba

• Yumi
• 2022/05/19 (Thu) 04:36
• Report

Who knows who ？

• 回答
• 2022/05/19 (Thu) 12:36
• Report

Yumi and Yukina

• 笑
• 2022/05/20 (Fri) 00:22
• Report

LOL @160