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Those who are caring for a parent.

Other
#1
  • G
  • mail
  • 2023/01/28 02:48

Please let me know your opinion.
I lived in the U.S. for 10 years, but my mother asked me to come back to Japan because she was worried about being alone in her old age.
I was single in the U.S. but worked hard.

I was taking care of my mother while working full time back in Japan, but my health started to deteriorate and I realized that I could not continue to work
at the same time, so I quit the company. I was working happily in my new position and was receiving a monthly salary of 250,000 take-home pay.

I looked for a part time job this time, but it is only 100,000 a month since I work 3 times a week.
I am not married so I have to take care of myself in the future and when I was getting 250,000 I was saving 100,000
a month.

I am quitting my job to take care of my parents, so I would like to receive the amount I would receive if I worked 250,000 - 100,000 a month ＝ 150,000 a month from my mother for expenses
but she does not understand. Why do I have to pay
when I don't pay rent and I even pay for her meals ？
? She doesn't think about my life after my mother dies. What will she want me to do
when I'm 60 years old, taking care of her in her current condition?

My mother received an inheritance from my father and has money to spare. But she doesn't want to go into a nursing home.
Is my claim strange ？?

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#3
  • 遺産
  • 2023/01/28 (Sat) 07:31
  • Report

When your mother dies, the inheritance doesn't go to you ？
Generally when you care for someone, there are exceptions, but your parents will eventually give the house, insurance, and other things to the person you care for.
If there is a large inheritance, the siblings may split it up as well.

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#4
  • 昭和のおとっつぁん
  • 2023/01/28 (Sat) 07:54
  • Report

It seems that when your mother dies, there will be people who will go after your inheritance.

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#6
  • ゆみ
  • 2023/01/28 (Sat) 08:39
  • Report

Your mother pays for long-term care insurance, so why don't you hire a home helper? It will reduce your burden.
You can do your own work too, caregiving is a long term game
Please do your best and don't keep it to yourself.

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#7
  • どこも同じ
  • 2023/01/28 (Sat) 12:14
  • Report

Caregiving cannot be overcome by in-laws alone.

If your mother can financially afford it, why not ask her to take care of you and put your own life first ？
I would like to make it clear that I would be willing to take care of my parents if they would leave me a legacy, but it is hard to have a conversation with someone of an age who is desperate for care. But it is difficult to have a conversation with someone who is at an age where they are desperate to take care of their parents.
Family care is complicated. It may be better if you don't have a sibling.

And if you live too long, you may be left with only a few sparrows, or even not enough if you are not very good. I think it is better not to expect your parents to take care of you, put yourself first and foremost, and if you can afford it, take care of them without asking for anything in return.

There are plenty of parents who take it for granted that because they are daughters they should take care of their parents for free. In fact, I think it is hell to take care of family members who can't afford it. Moreover, nowadays everyone is having a hard time because of the rising cost of living all over the world.

People who are at an age where they are desperate for care are big babies, and it is faster to act without asking for understanding. I don't think this is a story to be approved.

Perhaps the reason there is no way out is that you are somewhat halfway through the relationship if you can get your parents' inheritance. If you can't afford it, I think it's time to figure out what is possible rather than what you want to do.

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#10
  • ???
  • 2023/01/28 (Sat) 16:06
  • Report

Can't you go back to your old job, which used to be so rewarding?
If your mother has assets, why don't you hire someone and live your own life?

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

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