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141. Is it still just my small vessel ？?（6kview/36res） Problem / Need advice 2023/08/25 16:15
142. Menopausal Issues（996view/6res） Free talk 2023/08/23 21:15
143. Hurricane Approaching Southern California (Hurrica...（14kview/42res） Daily life 2023/08/22 02:02
144. Unhappy children who inherited only the shortcomin...（29kview/127res） Problem / Need advice 2023/08/20 16:06
145. studying abroad in a junior high school（1kview/9res） Question 2023/08/19 07:33
146. LA Fat Motor（682view/2res） Free talk 2023/08/18 09:33
147. How to find a roommate（7kview/43res） Problem / Need advice 2023/08/18 08:16
148. a certain bookstore（3kview/16res） Other 2023/08/16 16:15
149. unused item on deposit（25kview/89res） Question 2023/08/16 07:40
150. Monthly savings（17kview/99res） Question 2023/08/16 07:39
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Topic

Is it still just my small vessel ？?

Problem / Need advice
#1
  • monicasanta
  • 2023/08/17 21:07

I would like to discuss child rearing.
Please especially those who have experienced international marriage and stepchild marriage.

I am a Japanese 35 year old man. My wife is an American 35 years old and a housewife.
We have four children, ages 10, 8, 5, and 2 from the top.

The two older children are the children of my wife and her ex-husband.
The ex-husband pays child support payments of $250 per person per month for a total of $500.
They have had chronic illnesses from the beginning that required hospital visits, but the ex-husband only pays $500 per month in child support.
Currently, they rarely see each other due to ex-husband's availability.

I have been with my older two since they were 4 and 2
I am proud to say that I have treated them as if they were my own.

In this day and age, especially in the US,
it is better to respect the biological father after a divorce and
treat the remarried father as a stepfather only.
My wife tells me "you are a stepfather" every time I have a conflict in parenting.

I am mortified every time.
It's been over 5 years now.
The oldest child has also been remarried longer.

Is it still just my small capacity ？?

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Menopausal Issues

Free talk
#1
  • 70年代
  • mail
  • 2023/08/21 13:54

I know I'm getting older as I live my life, but
I'm already this old before I know it.

I'm getting tired of socializing
I've become very good at being alone
but it's still lonely not to be around people

How do you find new friends ？?

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Hurricane Approaching Southern California (Hurricane Hillary ＿ ）)

Daily life
#1
  • 台風
  • mail
  • 2023/08/18 10:18

Please share information.

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#2
  • 台風
  • 2023/08/18 (Fri) 10:29
  • Report

California is said to be the biggest typhoon in 1930.

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#3
  • 昭和のおとっつぁん
  • 2023/08/18 (Fri) 11:57
  • Report

We need to find a container on the street to catch the leak and get it ready.

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Unhappy children who inherited only the shortcomings of their parents.

Problem / Need advice
#1
  • カレー
  • mail
  • 2023/08/06 02:18

I wanted to post this because I wanted to ask you all to listen to the hard feelings I have been having for many years.
I would be happy to hear from anyone who has suffered through a similar situation as I have, and how they are trying to overcome it.

I am now in my 40's and worked for many years on both marriage and job hunting to move to LA, but ultimately my wish was not granted and I recently returned home.
I believe that the main reason why my life is not going well despite my best efforts is because
I inherited my mother's bad looks, which is rare in history, and my father's temperamental personality.
Being a woman and having poor looks is a fatal disadvantage. Her mother, who is in her 70s, is not good-looking, but she graduated from a top school and a first-class national university, is very intelligent, intellectually curious, and has a good way of doing everything, and has many friends with a likable personality. After giving birth, she became a housewife, but during her working years, she earned more money than her father. Because of this, she married her father, who is relatively wealthy, well-educated, and relatively good-looking. On the other hand, my father was smart and chose women based on the wavelength of conversation and their personalities, so he did not particularly care about their looks, but he is selfish, short-tempered, and quick-tempered. I am not as well-educated as my mother, and I don't feel the same yearning for a full-time housewife like my mother, and I don't like children either, so I longed for a single life in LA where I could be carefree. Since I was not good enough to get permanent residency on my own and did not have the good looks to get a man to marry me and support my permanent residency, I had to return home.

After returning home, I have found a full-time job, but it is almost a black company and does not seem to last.
I regret that I should have studied for more qualifications when I was young so that I could get a solid job. I am currently working on my studies, which I was not able to do when I was younger, and I am angry at my parents for not communicating the importance of getting a solid job when I was younger. Part of it is that my parents' generation did not place as much importance on women's financial independence, but all of their wishful thinking about me is off.
My appearance is not at a level that can be managed with petite plastic surgery.

Those who are not in my situation will not understand my situation.
I apologize for the length of this article, but I would be happy to hear from anyone who has overcome similar circumstances.

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#70
  • 親の悪いとこ取り
  • 2023/08/12 (Sat) 07:46
  • Report

I found a very good article.

If life is 100 years, one's 50s is the turning point. It is up to you whether you think "I am already at this age" or "I can still do my best".

7 habits that have turned my life around since I was 50
Your 50s are the second half of your life. The world you will see when you reach the age of 60 will be different between those who say, "No matter what I do now, I can see the future" and don't make any effort, and those who believe that "I may still be able to do something" and act accordingly.

"Good beliefs" and "bad beliefs"
Good beliefs have "room to grow" and can grow if you work hard.
In other words, by adopting good beliefs, life will go the way you want it to go.

（ 1 ） Praise yourself a lot
There are higher-ups in the world. If you compare yourself with others, you will inevitably focus on your own inadequacies. Instead, be "honestly pleased" with your own growth in what you have achieved.
Anyone can do this, it's no big deal. Anyone can do it, it's not a big deal," but rather, "Yay ！ I did it ！. When I can rejoice in small successes, little by little I can trust myself, and gradually I am able to take on bigger and bigger challenges.

（ 2 ） At the end of the day, write down "what I could do today" and "what was good" in a notebook and look back
at the good things. This will help you end the day with positive feelings and increase your self-esteem. You will also develop the habit of looking for good things.
If you look back on the notebook regularly, such as after one month, three months, or six months, you will gain confidence and think, "I did such a good job ！" or "I am not so bad. Once, when I was depressed because of an unexpected failure, I wrote down in a notebook what I had done in those six months and regained my confidence.

（ 3 ） Choosing a partner
If you think negatively about things, "anyway" and "but", you will tend to be reluctant to try new things. Life is long and short. I think it is important to clarify what kind of person you want to spend your finite time with.

（ 4 ） Associating with people who have the same dreams
If I want to make my current dreams and wishes come true, I try to associate with people who have similar dreams. It is to these people that I talk more and more about my " big dreams that I am " embarrassed" to talk about. I say things like, "Someday I want to do this," or "Next time I want to do something like this."
Then they will definitely say, "Great ！," and they will give you a piece of wisdom. Then it will be easier for you to give yourself permission to do it, and you will be able to take positive action.

(5) ） "Create a home" where you can always be in a good mood
・ Place houseplants
・ Keep things off the floor
・ Wash windows regularly
・ Decline regularly
・ Don't buy things just because they are cheap
・ Don't take things for free
・ Burn aroma
・ Make time for tea
・ Dispose of mail immediately
・ Do minor cleaning by yourself Do major cleaning by a professional

(6) ） Remember humility and gratitude
You are not who you are because of yourself, but because of the help of others. I think I have more smiles on my face since I started to consciously use the word "thank you."

（ 7 ） When in doubt, make a quick decision
We are constantly making small decisions from the time we wake up in the morning until we go to bed.
Narrowing down our choices prevents decision fatigue. And when I am really confused, I try to trust my intuition.
To do this, it is important to have clear criteria for your decisions. I believe that life is yaruka ・ yaranaika, only two choices, right or left, so I don't waste time goofing around and thinking. If I fail, I consider it an exercise in decision accuracy.

-Middle Way Ansan-

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#72
  • はな
  • 2023/08/13 (Sun) 09:43
  • Report

So many replies, but no response, Nopi. Writing is not compulsory, but it is a fact that each of us writes on our own time.
Since he can leave it under such circumstances, it is a matter of humanity that he himself has cultivated.
He inherited the bad parts from his parents? That's funny.
This is the kind of person who will never get along in the real world.
All because of others? Is it the parents' fault?
Don't give me excuses like "I was in a bad mood, my phone/PC was broken, I was too busy to write".
Even if it was fishing and pi, he/she has a problem with human nature too.

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#73
  • 人生
  • 2023/08/13 (Sun) 15:49
  • Report

Those who succeed will succeed in any situation.
Those who do not will not under any circumstances.

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#74
  • 昭和のおとっつぁん
  • 2023/08/13 (Sun) 16:02
  • Report

If I can live every day safely and without complaint, I don't have high hopes.

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#75

There may be some cultural differences, but it may not be much different no matter where you are located.

It works out ・ or doesn't partly by luck and timing, but so far, as far as I have seen various results, I feel that it has generally been "the result of my own actions" after living for more than half a century.

Just as the word "antithesis" is used, I think one of the ways is to try to think positively about being in the situation and try to think and act from a completely opposite point of view.

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studying abroad in a junior high school

Question
#1
  • Tyler
  • mail
  • 2023/08/16 22:52

I am an eighth grader and I am thinking of studying abroad, but I wonder if I can enroll if I have gardeians or other students. I would like to know the procedure for admission.

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LA Fat Motor

Free talk
#1
  • 教えて
  • mail
  • 2023/08/17 20:01

Please tell me

how to get a good deal in LA.
Are there places like Japanese fat motors in LA
？?

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How to find a roommate

Problem / Need advice
#1
  • Hulu
  • mail
  • 2023/07/03 01:31

I have an extra room and would like to find a roommate.
Please tell me what kind of contract I should sign with my roommate.

Should I make a formal document and ask her to sign it?
Should I get a copy of the driver license?

I heard that someone I know had a bad roommate and had a hard time
I would like to know how you all do it.

Please do.

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a certain bookstore

Other
#1
  • JJ
  • mail
  • 2023/08/05 08:24

I went to a used bookstore on a weekday when there were few people around,
browsed a bit to buy some books,
then moved on to the manga section.
I'm totally sure the staff is sneaking around checking me out the whole time.
I pretend not to look, but it's so obvious. He must have looked like a shoplifter. But I felt really bad.
Are there others here ？?

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unused item on deposit

Question
#1
  • 水菜
  • mail
  • 2023/05/31 19:51

Question for "those who have a wardrobe deposit."
• How much money do you have in a safe deposit account? ？
• What are the advantages of a safe deposit account?
• What are the disadvantages of a wardrobe deposit?
• How do you plan to move your chest deposit if you return to Japan permanently ？?

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#17
  • たかが
  • 2023/06/08 (Thu) 03:59
  • Report

Will they ask me for a mere $ 3,000 ？

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#18
  • 💩
  • 2023/06/08 (Thu) 08:57
  • Report

I won't show you.

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#19
  • 昭和のおとっつぁん
  • 2023/06/08 (Thu) 09:15
  • Report

It's a wardrobe deposit, so even if I show you the bank statement, it doesn't list the amount of the wardrobe deposit.

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#20
  • たんす
  • 2023/06/09 (Fri) 01:03
  • Report

そうですね...タックスリターンの際、バンクステイトメントを見せたことがなく、求められたこともなかったです。
なぜ違いがあるのか、不思議ですね。

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#21

タンス貯金の長所は、災害時に現金をもっていると助かります。例えば、911の時、私は日本からシカゴにつきましたが、レンタカーはないや、タクシーは現金だけで運転手の言い値でした。つまり、カードは役に立たなけったわけです。その意味で数千ドルのお現金をもっていることは、災害準備としてはいいのではと思います。
短所は金利がつかない点です。また、強盗などの被害リスクです。どこに隠したか忘れる場合もあります。私は一か所ではなく、財布、車、家などに分割しています。いつどこで災害にあうかわかりませんから。

全然関係ありませんが、税金申告には貯金額は関係ありません。唯一関係するのは利子です。利子は収入ですから。家の売買ですが、現金では払えない問題はあります。普通は、銀行からＥｓｃｒｏｗに送金する必要があります。家を買えるだけの現金をタンス貯金するのは現実的ではないのでは？それだけの金があれば利子がもったいないですし、盗まれた場合にその額を担保する方法がありません。

日本に永住する際ということですが、日本でもタンス貯金をするのであれば、なかなか難しいですね。ドルを腹に巻いて持って帰ることは違法ですが可能です。Western Unionなどの電信送金もありますが、受け取り側の口座が必要になりますし、限度額が5万ドルです。
私なら、米国の銀行にそのお金を入れて、日本ではATMで現金化するのが一番らくです。

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Monthly savings

Question
#1
  • 金子
  • mail
  • 2023/07/24 21:25

Is 2000 a month a small amount to save for a single person?
How much money do you save?

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#22
  • ↑ガセネタばかり
  • 2023/07/31 (Mon) 16:13
  • Report

The price moves 24 hours a day, every second. You can just look at the chart and you're an Excel fool ？.

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#23
  • 昭和のおとっつぁん
  • 2023/07/31 (Mon) 16:29
  • Report

You don't have to fit in with others, you do it your way.

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#24
  • あほ
  • 2023/07/31 (Mon) 16:43
  • Report

21

a fool round here and there
a poor man round there

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#25
  • 昭和のおとっつぁん
  • 2023/07/31 (Mon) 16:53
  • Report

22
That's a good idea.

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#26
  • あほ
  • 2023/07/31 (Mon) 18:54
  • Report

I deleted the one in excel ？

because it's so stupid ？ w

I think everyone is a liar because I'm a liar

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