Vivinavi : Los Angeles : (United States) Los Angeles

• 昭和のじいさん
• 2021/12/21 (Tue) 13:13
• Report

I'm in divorce proceedings and you're living with him
I wonder if he's planning on taking that house.

• 考えすぎ
• 2021/12/21 (Tue) 13:18
• Report

You're only living with them because it costs money.

• Kokusaikekkon
• 2021/12/21 (Tue) 20:54
• Report
• Delete

Thank you all for your advice. The reason we are living together is because our children are also living with us. We are not U.S. citizens and are in the U.S. on work visas. The children are soon to be adults, so there is no custody dispute. The issue is the division of property. Lawyers are still going to be protracted and expensive. Since there is no problem with custody and child support, I think it is possible to consult a paralegal or an accountant only for advice on negotiating the division of property, and consult a lawyer on a case-by-case basis when the husband side hires a lawyer (he may not really want to hire a lawyer because he knows the cost, but he may be saying it out of strength). The property is real estate and a mortgage. I would like to sell the property and settle and divide it, but since the property is in high demand for rent, he does not want to sell it for the future and wants to give me only the remortgage portion and keep the ownership solo, which I do not agree with. The only point of contention is the division of property. He also does not want to pay the 50/50 split for the pension. If it is only property division, I hope we can fight it with only paralegals.

• Chappy
• mail
• 2021/12/22 (Wed) 13:23
• Report

I am sorry to hear that you are in divorce proceedings and living together, and I can imagine the awkwardness. We have had the same feelings.　We live in California and just got divorced after 36 years of marriage. My husband is a US citizen. No children. I plan to return to Japan permanently.　Our divorce is only for our house and property division, so we prepared the documents ourselves through a paralegal and filed them with the court. At the same time as the filing, we both signed and agreed to a written document that we would not touch any property in our joint names. Therefore, we sold the house because we needed free living expenses for each other to live on until the decree was issued. We also moved in together and organized the house, but spent each day feeling the awkwardness and the spikes in the other's language. He would stare at me when I packed my stuff （ to see what I would take ）, and I packed carefully to leave him what he needed for his middle age and older life alone after the divorce, but I remember feeling suffocated every day.　Because of Covid19, it took a long time to get the Divorce Decree （ I had to wait about 7 months after the initial filing ） .　After we received cash from the sale of the house, we split it 50 ・ 50 and we both lived in an apartment with it as our living expenses and waited for the divorce decree to be issued. Even though alimony is not included in the divorce, the wife can legally claim alimony at a later date for 10 （ or 15 ） years after the divorce is finalized, and it is the husband's obligation to his wife who has been married for more than 10 years.　Even if the divorce is finalized, I still need to keep in touch with him （ because I will be living in Japan and I will have to ask him for some things ） so I endured it patiently. Now we are spending our time as good friends, keeping in touch day by day. Looking back, I wish I had been a little more relaxed.

• 経験者
• 2021/12/22 (Wed) 15:06
• Report

Whether your husband likes it or not, if you divorce in California, a 50/50 split of the property, including pensions, is a certainty if you go to court. If you do not want to sell the house, the person who owns the house is obligated to pay half the value of the house. However, most people don't have that kind of money, so the house is usually sold.

The reason why you think there will be a dispute is because your husband does not agree, and if you go to court, it is obvious that his claim will not be accepted. I think you should be more forceful. I know you are under a lot of stress and often feel bad, but please don't be discouraged.