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Topic

Unhappy children who inherited only the shortcomings of their parents.

Problem / Need advice
#1
  • カレー
  • mail
  • 2023/08/06 02:18

I wanted to post this because I wanted to ask you all to listen to the hard feelings I have been having for many years.
I would be happy to hear from anyone who has suffered through a similar situation as I have, and how they are trying to overcome it.

I am now in my 40's and worked for many years on both marriage and job hunting to move to LA, but ultimately my wish was not granted and I recently returned home.
I believe that the main reason why my life is not going well despite my best efforts is because
I inherited my mother's bad looks, which is rare in history, and my father's temperamental personality.
Being a woman and having poor looks is a fatal disadvantage. Her mother, who is in her 70s, is not good-looking, but she graduated from a top school and a first-class national university, is very intelligent, intellectually curious, and has a good way of doing everything, and has many friends with a likable personality. After giving birth, she became a housewife, but during her working years, she earned more money than her father. Because of this, she married her father, who is relatively wealthy, well-educated, and relatively good-looking. On the other hand, my father was smart and chose women based on the wavelength of conversation and their personalities, so he did not particularly care about their looks, but he is selfish, short-tempered, and quick-tempered. I am not as well-educated as my mother, and I don't feel the same yearning for a full-time housewife like my mother, and I don't like children either, so I longed for a single life in LA where I could be carefree. Since I was not good enough to get permanent residency on my own and did not have the good looks to get a man to marry me and support my permanent residency, I had to return home.

After returning home, I have found a full-time job, but it is almost a black company and does not seem to last.
I regret that I should have studied for more qualifications when I was young so that I could get a solid job. I am currently working on my studies, which I was not able to do when I was younger, and I am angry at my parents for not communicating the importance of getting a solid job when I was younger. Part of it is that my parents' generation did not place as much importance on women's financial independence, but all of their wishful thinking about me is off.
My appearance is not at a level that can be managed with petite plastic surgery.

Those who are not in my situation will not understand my situation.
I apologize for the length of this article, but I would be happy to hear from anyone who has overcome similar circumstances.

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#43
  • はな
  • 2023/08/08 (Tue) 23:00
  • Report

If petit plastic surgery won't help, why don't you work hard to earn money and get a full-fledged plastic surgery? I think.
I'm writing like this, but honestly, I'm working my ass off. In the end, I feel that you are only blaming others and not seeing the sweetness in yourself, plus you are being sneaky.

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#45
  • 私も親の悪いとこ取り
  • 2023/08/09 (Wed) 05:55
  • Report

Mr. Curry, you are neither childish nor selfish. You are a good writer and I get the impression that you are a smart and serious person.
I think the problem is not so much her looks or education, but her low self-esteem and lack of oxytocin and serotonin. Ms. Curry probably grew up lonely and lonely due to lack of love from her parents. If she had received proper affection, she would have grown up being told she was pretty and lovely, and such people would grow up bright and loved by others, even if their original form was not good.
If they are brought up with a lack of love and affection, they will grow up with a dark face and a lack of self-confidence, and they will keep thinking about what is wrong with them.
To manage to give yourself a sense of self-esteem, self-confidence, and happiness that a child raised with love can usually have, you can start with foods such as bananas and meat, which are sources of serotonin, exposure to sunlight, walking, and light exercise. Oxytocin, the hormone of affection, can also be produced by being kind to others and making them happy, or by smiling and waving at children you meet when shopping. Sleeping with a dog or cat that gives you straight-up affection is said to produce as much or more oxytocin as sleeping with a lover or spouse. If you can't have a dog or cat, you can also give your love to fish or birds. I used to go to Inokashira Park often. At first, the birds only recognized me as a person who fed them, but eventually they began to gather around me with affection. As is well known, crows are very intelligent. Even if you are not confident in your appearance or not good at socializing, animals will still give you pure love. It is okay to give love to plants. While doing so, you can make friends who like animals and plants as well, or you can connect with people through other hobbies. The friends you make in this way will not care whether you look good or bad. When you have a cheerful face and atmosphere, they will not care about your bad face and people will see what's inside of you.
If you don't like people, you can find happiness in books and movies.

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#46
  • 私も親の悪いとこ取り
  • 2023/08/09 (Wed) 06:13
  • Report

As for appearance, when you are young, you worry about it, but when you reach middle age, you might as well open your mind to the fact that it doesn't matter anymore. I cut my own hair at random, I don't even look in the mirror, and now I can hide my ugliness with a mask, so it's easy for me. I think I will continue to wear the mask even after the corona is over.
If you are really worried about your appearance, you can study the makeup method, if you watch Chinese makeup on Youtube, you will see that your eyes, nose, and facial structure look like a different person, the power of makeup is amazing.

If you are looking for someone who is beautiful but cold, or someone who is ugly but kind and warm, I think that many people would prefer the latter. Don't worry about people who are cold, make fun of you, or talk about you behind your back because of your bad looks.

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#48
  • Gg
  • 2023/08/09 (Wed) 07:54
  • Report

It must have taken a lot of beating to have it erased as much as it has. I think it is a genuine concern for women.
Personality is a good thing if you are careful, don't lose your temper, and respect your partner. As for looks, if you have a good personality, looks are secondary, just like beautiful women get bored in 3 days and ugly women can become ugly in 3 days. My parents say that even if you are ugly, if you are charming, you will be more adorable than if you are beautiful and twinkly.
I know someone who is ugly, short, and chubby, and it surprised me at first, but I got used to it. I was surprised at first, but soon got used to it.
Be ambitious and do your best. I think many people can see the good in you.

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#49
  • 私も親の悪いとこ取り
  • 2023/08/09 (Wed) 08:06
  • Report

In fact, many children in Japan, Korea, and China think that their life is over if they fail the entrance examinations.
It may take some time and years to escape from the spell of having to go to a good school, but if you continue to wish to go to a good university, it is not too late, regardless of your age. If working in a black job is too painful for you, you can take the plunge and change jobs or even change to another part time job and go to college. I think it is possible to try again in the U.S. And as others have said, there are many Japanese women married to American men who wear makeup like Otemoyan, regardless of their appearance, so I think Curry-san has a good chance to get married. How about trying to be friendly rather than good-looking? You said you have a temper, but of course you can fix it, and you can change your personality as much as you want later. A mild-mannered person can turn into an angry person, or a short-tempered person can turn into a tolerant person.

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

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