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divorce

Problem / Need advice
#1
  • May
  • mail
  • 2022/10/18 02:12

Have you all thought about divorce?
What was the reason?
Have you actually divorced?
Do you want to get married again?

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#2
  • ところでまめ
  • 2022/10/18 (Tue) 08:39
  • Report

I'm sure the reasons vary from man to man, but I think they can be roughly summarized as follows

continuing a painful marriage vs. living alone ( which is better if there are no children )
someone else I like and want to marry vs. what to do with children and assets
Would divorce be happier for children ? vs. financial hardship ?

etc. ?

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#3
  • 2022/10/18 (Tue) 17:38
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I usually don't speak first ?.

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#4
  • どーでもいいトピだし
  • 2022/10/18 (Tue) 18:45
  • Report

Why don't people who want to write write?
There are a lot of people here who want to write.

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#5
  • 既婚者
  • 2022/10/18 (Tue) 20:32
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I sometimes think about getting a divorce
but I won't because there are many disadvantages

If there are many advantages on paper, you can take the plunge

You only live once.

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#6
  • 80代の星
  • 2022/10/18 (Tue) 21:40
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A man's word is worth two words !
My wife is a bedridden woman, but I do my best every day.

Maybe it's a stupid life.
but I keep my promises !

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#7
  • 自己中
  • 2022/10/18 (Tue) 21:44
  • Report

Self-centered people are not marriage material

If you married a self-centered person, too bad for you.

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#8
  • 離婚したい
  • 2022/10/19 (Wed) 14:29
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I thought the house I bought with a loan before marriage was mine, but is it true that my spouse has rights if the loan is not paid off ??

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#9
  • ほんと大丈夫?
  • 2022/10/20 (Thu) 04:29
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#6 That's good.

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#12
  • おっさん
  • 2022/10/29 (Sat) 07:58
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8
If you claim that right, you're half in debt ?.

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#12
  • ゆみ
  • 2022/10/29 (Sat) 08:08
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My husband is working alone
and has a mistress living in his house and playing with her on the company's expense.
I know all about it, but
I'm going back to Japan soon

How can I get back at him?
I am thinking about it.
I really feel bad
husband who had relationships with many women

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#14
  • 浮気
  • 2022/10/29 (Sat) 08:34
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What if you get HPV and get cancer ?
I think some people would say that.

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#15
  • 単身赴任
  • 2022/10/29 (Sat) 12:57
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12
Who wouldn't cheat on their wife by themselves ??

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#16
  • 復習
  • 2022/10/29 (Sat) 14:09
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12
People who cheat on their employees at company expense are lame.

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#17
  • 同じ穴
  • 2022/10/29 (Sat) 14:20
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12
You do it in Japan too ?

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#18
  • 過去
  • 2022/11/02 (Wed) 23:59
  • Report

Have you ever thought about divorce? Yes, I have.
What is the reason? Because he has no ambition at all, he is dragging me down, and I don't think he is a companion with whom I can build a future together. Did you actually divorce? Yes, I did.
Do you want to get married again? I remarried. We fight now, but our values are close and we are in agreement on the general direction of our lives.

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#21
  • 教訓
  • 2022/11/05 (Sat) 09:50
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Divorce is hard, better not to get married.

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#22
  • クールマム
  • mail
  • 2022/11/05 (Sat) 12:49
  • Report

We are in the process of divorcing and living separately.
Because my husband was living a double life with a woman.
The affair turned out to be six years long and resulted in divorce.
Children are two teenagers. Husband is American.
I have hired a lawyer and am also in the process of recovering a large sum of money that my husband spent on the affair. We are investigating hidden accounts, credit card statements, rent, etc. I will sanction him thoroughly.

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#27
  • クールマム
  • 2022/11/05 (Sat) 14:37
  • Report

It is true that in California the grounds for divorce are not questioned and alimony cannot be obtained. That is why there are other ways.
A lawyer is a must. They can tell you a lot of things. If you just want to go through the process of a collaborative divorce at a legal office, you can do it cheaply. If the problem is deep, it is an idea.
There are many mothers in the world who are suffering from unfaithfulness and abandonment of their children, so I hope this will be helpful.

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#28
  • 怖い
  • 2022/11/05 (Sat) 20:11
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California, can I hire a lawyer and go through the process of getting back the large sum of money my husband spent on the affair ?
There are laws that even a lawyer can't do what you can't do.
He can get child support and your living expenses. Your husband seems to hate you a lot.

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#30
  • たしか
  • 2022/11/06 (Sun) 07:25
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28

I'm sure you can do it
He said he hated her a lot after 6 years of infidelity lol
Still, you don't have to like someone ?.

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#31
  • 怖い
  • 2022/11/06 (Sun) 09:56
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It looks like you can do it. So the affair is no fault but the money spent is not. 、、、、 I wonder if her husband doesn't like her,... Human beings have feelings. Even if he is a terrible violent man, he is kind at heart, or a cheating husband.

Well, some of them have a lot of calculations and can't get divorced because of children, child support, living expenses.
And if you make mistreatment, even money is refunded.

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#34
  • クールマム
  • 2022/11/06 (Sun) 10:45
  • Report

We have income here too, so we are claiming damages that were spent unfairly and unfaithfully. There are people who don't know what's going on but are posting bad things to vent their frustration. I don't want to get involved with these people because they seem to have bad character and stupidity. He must be someone who is not brave enough to say anything face to face.

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#35
  • たしか
  • 2022/11/06 (Sun) 11:51
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31

A man's affair is not just about hating his wife
he always wants to feel his value as a man,
his wife is family, not a sex object, or some animal instinct
and then there's the whole pregnancy with the devil in you
thing.
if you have been having an affair for 6 years, that's what it means
if you hate her, you would have divorced her

marriage is a contract
take all you can get without emotions and take the law
or you will regret it later
money doesn't lie !

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#36
  • 怖い
  • 2022/11/06 (Sun) 12:19
  • Report

35
Marriage is a contract, isn't it? If you don't like it, you're divorced, and there are a lot of people who don't like it but aren't divorced. It's because of that sucker sucker you say.
My husband is also having an affair ? But I guess it's a male excecution ?
And later, for the sake of the children.
Some women say they can't do it because they have to pay living expenses if they divorce.

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#40
  • クールマム
  • mail
  • 2022/11/06 (Sun) 14:31
  • Report

Regarding your question about Topi's divorce …
With just this, I don't know what your intentions are and what kind of story you are hoping to develop.
I wish you had written some background on the topical person who decided to ask this question.
I don't know if I would like to be judged by various people for writing about the situation.

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#41
  • 2022/11/06 (Sun) 19:11
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Not judgments, but impressions, facts and human glee and self-indulgence. Some may agree with you.

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#42
  • クールマム
  • mail
  • 2022/11/06 (Sun) 20:07
  • Report

So that would be judging.
You judge others and say what you want to say about them. No matter what the facts are. When I look at the posts here, once again, I see that there are many people in the world who are completely incompatible with me, and I'm successfully choosing between them and living with those who fit.

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#43
  • 立場
  • 2022/11/06 (Sun) 20:35
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would be easy to agree if they are the same. I think it fits ? When you write incompatible, it sounds like you are the center and everyone around you is crazy. Like a wife who has been unfaithful to her husband, or a wife with children.
Things seem good.
Some people are not vengeful.

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#44
  • クールマム
  • mail
  • 2022/11/07 (Mon) 09:47
  • Report

You center yourself and decide that your values don't match ? not that there's something wrong with the people around you. It's natural that there are people with different ideas, and you say your values and ideas based on that.

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#45
  • 本当に
  • 2022/11/07 (Mon) 10:56
  • Report

44

It's a hard line to draw
between expressing your opinion and criticizing the other person's opinion.

People who can get along with others even if they have different opinions
and people who cannot get along unless they agree
People who are liked by others and people who make enemies anyway

I guess it's natural to have different values, but people who cannot get along with others are people I think people who don't get along with others are people who don't care about others' feelings and don't know how to feel distance from others.
Before right or wrong, I think it is whether one's words and attitude are favorable or unfavorable. Even if you say the right thing, the way you say it and the timing depends on your position. People who can't communicate lose because they say what they want to say anyway, and I don't want to have a conversation with someone who starts with negativity when I say something.
There is also personality, but it gets worse with age.

Old people usually tend to be one-way traffic, and most of them are unable to feel the other person's feelings. I don't argue with them and don't listen to them because they can't keep up with the times, so I don't know if they have no choice physically. But if there is no need, I don't bother to take my time to hang out with them, so I think they are getting lonelier and lonelier, and they have no one to talk to, so they are venting their frustrations on the Internet.

The best thing to do is not to deal with them.

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#47
  • クールマム
  • mail
  • 2022/11/07 (Mon) 11:38
  • Report

I think you are exactly right.
Everyone has different values and ways of thinking, so the important point is to communicate while grasping the sense of distance to see if you will be accepted, but I think there are few people who can have a good conversation without grasping the sense of distance. When you write your opinion to the majority of people you don't know on the Internet, it doesn't matter what the distance is, because you are expressing your own thoughts.
It is difficult not to completely deny others because opinions are one-sided, but I think it is good if the recipient understands that the opinion is based on a certain premise.

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#50
  • 疲れる
  • 2022/11/08 (Tue) 16:46
  • Report

This guy.

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#51
  • I know why
  • 2022/11/09 (Wed) 23:09
  • Report

#47 = IQ110-120

#50 = IQ80-90

IQ difference is too great for #50 to understand what #47 is saying.

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#52
  • IQ博士
  • 2022/11/10 (Thu) 06:53
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IQ isn't a good measure.
The person with 120 IQ would probably get their ego boosted a little bit.

Are you a cool mom ?
I wrote this ?
by myself ?

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#55
  • クールマム
  • mail
  • 2022/11/11 (Fri) 11:11
  • Report

Dr. IQ
I don't understand your question.
I wrote this ? myself ? which post are you referring to ?
I wrote the post as cool mom.

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#56
  • 私は応援したい
  • 2022/11/12 (Sat) 22:09
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Coolmom, you seem feisty, but I think you have the energy needed to fight through the divorce. I hope she gets the sanction she needs. She's raising two teenagers and I'm glad she has a strong mom because they are very impressionable.

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#57
  • クールマム
  • mail
  • 2022/11/15 (Tue) 09:23
  • Report

#56Thank you for your message of I want to support you.
I'm glad to hear that you are making supportive comments like that, when many people go out of their way to post critical comments just because they can't see your face. I'm not a strong-willed person, but I am used to sending out messages to an unspecified number of people, and I know that a certain number of people will harass me with snide comments and shit-lips, and I know that premise, which is why I can state my opinion without hesitation. It certainly takes a lot of energy to get divorced. I will not lose, I will fight and do my best to make sure my children grow up healthy under these circumstances. Thank you !

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